summer wind-down

Between diagnostic/practice GRE tests and working on some summer school class homework, I realized that I really haven't blogged all summer. I mostly used this to keep in touch with my mom, and we have been living in the same house so it hasn't seemed necessary. But, in case anyone else is wondering (and for my own reference someday when I have hours to waste and am re-reading my entries) I better update about my summer a little bit.

since summer is slowly coming to an end, I'm beginning to realize how much this summer meant to me. Life is still flying by, and I'll be 22 in less than 2 weeks...CRAZY! I feel like an old lady. The summer brought lots of new favorite memories, lots of questions, a few tears, loads of laughter, a little bit of traveling, a couple new family members, a strengthened faith (after a few bumps in the road), and helped me develop a better sense of who I am as a woman, and daughter, a sister, and a Believer. I am not going to pour out details, because exploiting some of my most personal questions/experiences on a blog just seems wrong. But know that I am anxiously awaiting arrival back in Bellingham, reuniting with my roommates, Gretchen and Ali, and finishing my final 2 quarters of school.

July already!

Nearly one month has passed since my last post. Life has continued to be busy for me, but I'm still working on slowing down and learning to love the little things.

I am still processing my year spent in Bellingham. Mostly I'm just flowing with the love and grace and kindness that I was lucky enough to experience there. I've learned a lot, especially from my roommates, and I can't imagine where I'd be today if I wouldn't have landed a spot as a Turtle.

Home has offered the rest and comfort that I'd been longing for. I adore being able to pick on my little sister whenever I want to, drag my parents out for a round of putt putt golfing after their bedtime, have friends over to catch up and laugh, and mostly I love being in a city that I could drive around with my eyes closed. I realize how many blessings I have at home, and Kalli and I got to go on a shopping trip to Denver. The reason for the trip of course wasn't shopping, it was to get my stepdad's car serviced... shopping was just a perk. We had a blast in the hotel, driving a loaner 2008 BMW SUV, and shopping/eating out/laughing. I'm so thankful that Kalli and I are not only sisters, but we're also friends.

Rapid City hasn't been all fun and games though, I went to my Grandma B's house for dinner. She invited her "dancing partner" Don over, and my biological dad lives with her as well. He was too drunk to even come into the house and eat with us. Its embarrassing. I can tell that my grandma is sad... but she seems to be doing much better and getting out of the house more. I feel sorry for my mother for having to put up with him for all the miserable years that she did. I'm grateful to have such an amazing stepdad... so willing to step right in and be such an important person in my life. I realize that not every family with step parents have this bond, but man I'm so pleased that I got it.


Well I'm off to start my internship in Chicago. Looking forward to spending time with Morgan and my sister and Andie. Should be a great month!

June already!

So its June. Somehow April took for-ev-er and May slipped away from me. Funny how that happens.

I am processing a lot of things right now... and journaling the old-fashioned way with pen and paper. Once I compile what I want to say, I'll be sure and post it. In the mean time, chew on this:


not sure how many people have seen this, but my family and I made our lists at New Years...maybe I'll put mine up here once I get home and find that notebook we wrote them in. If you don't do it this year, you'll be a year older when you do.

so lately... lets see. I've been walking a lot. I still don't have a car. I'm getting used to it taking at least 10 minutes to get places instead of being able to pretty much leave at the time I'm supposed to be somewhere and show up like 2-3 minutes late. I guess I'll just be ridiculously early once I get my car back?

This weekend was good. I want to have a video-chat session with my family but Kalli is sick and my mom was making everyone do yard work on Mother's Day so it didn't work out. I've had some great talks this week. I feel so much better when I'm able to talk things out with people and can sort of recap whats been going on. Friends are good things to keep around, fundamental for sure. Big week again school-wise, Kines Lab Exam on Thursday and another physics quiz on Thursday as well. Its past my bedtime so this is a quick one!

PS - Mom: Colette cut like 12 inches off of her hair (its like between chin and shoulder length now) and donated it to Locks of Love :) You'll have to keep your eyes peeled for her at the hospital!

praying and a new 1st place

One of my best friends since I can remember is Megan Jangula. I remember begging my mom to let me just walk to Megan's after school so I could play in her cellar. It was a tiny room with a ceiling maybe 3 feet high? Perfect height that we could crawl around with only a flashlight. Plus her dad Yogi kept his Coke in there so that was just a bonus. Megan had toys like you wouldn't believe. I remember she had moon shoes, you know the like rubber band and plastic things you strapped on to your normal shoes? I loved it when I got to wear those. Megan's mom always got ready in the mornings in a the lazy boy recliner in their living room. Second to the cellar, my favorite thing was using Shelley's make-up and curling irons to make ourselves look oh-so-beautiful. Plus both of our mom's were nurses. I think nurses kid's just automatically are bonded because we all have this immense respect and appreciation for our mothers...Ann's mom is also a nurse...but that's a whole other blog.

Megan and I both worked at the hospital this summer -- we were... well...we were ass-wipers and bath-givers. The hospital tries to church it up by calling it a "Patient Care Technician" or a "Certified Nurses Assistant" but its not glorious work by any means. However, I tried to see it as my opportunity to make someone's day just a little brighter. I loved working on 8th floor with Megan because it meant I knew I would have someone who could help me boost someone up in bed (which is a daunting task to attempt by yourself) or help me make a bed or give a difficult bath. Megan has the gift of caring for people - she definitely got that from her mom. We both had our share of hard days, watching someone take their last breath, but also had lights throughout a shift when sweet little old ladies would ask for your name so they could say a prayer for you. I think those moments made up for all of the horrific things we had to see and go through, and ultimately we're better for going through what we had to. Both of us now have a better understanding for what our moms have seen for the last 25+ years as nurses.

I got a phone call from Megan on Friday. She started to cry and so did I. Her mom was diagnosed with Mutliple Myeloma a few months ago and Megan tried to remain calm and say what was going on. She just needed somebody to talk to, because her mom was no longer able to respond to anyone. She wasn't dead yet, but the time was quickly approaching. We cried and dealt with the hard stuff. Megan seemed like she was coping as well as anyone could considering what was happening, and like I said, we both experienced through our patients this summer how to handle death from a "professional" standpoint (even though I cried when a patient died...every time...I'm sure Megan did too) I wanted desperately to get in a car, or on a bus or train or plane or something... just to get home to comfort her. The cost would seem like nothing once I got that long-awaited and much needed hug. I could hear her pain through the phone and instantly just started praying.

Shelley passed away on Saturday night at the Hospice House. I can't imagine feeling such an immense loss as what Megan is feeling right now. My mom is my go-to person. Whenever ANYTHING happens she's the first person I call. I can't imagine life without my Mom.. and I don't think its fair for Megan to have to live the rest of hers without Shelley. So I've always said that the pain of losing a child must be the worst, but I'm going to go ahead and bump this one up there -- tied for 1st place: losing your mother. If you think of it, pray for Megan. Pray that she'd begin to feel comfort and love from those around her. My heart is broken for you Meg, know that I love you and I will always be here for you.

whew. an epiphany.

The weeks of Spring Quarter are FLYING by! I'm not complaining, the sooner I'm done with these classes the better. I have so much to look forward to this summer that I can't help but think about my next season of life. I've been reminded of how much I'm complaining about things here when in reality life has never been better for me! (minus the car thing, I guess)

I have great friends, amazing roommates, I live in a beautiful place, I'm getting an education, I have the most supportive and encouraging family anyone could ask for, and I have endless opportunity. I'm growing, regardless of if I acknowledge it or not, and I can either accept that life is happening and jump on for the ride or continue to complain and whine about stupid little things that really serve no purpose other than to distract me from how amazing my life really is!

I chose jump on! Ok. I'm going to step off the soap box now and get back to studying.

April is STILL rough...but almost over!

April is hard...still! Instead of talking about all the icky crap that has been going on, I'm going to list the amazing things that have happened - just to remind myself that God is faithful and just, and I should not be worrying/stressed about anything.

1. Its Kalli's birthday! And Ann's birthday! And Ann is coming - TOMORROW! I can't wait.
2. I am slowly embracing this "adulthood" thing.. You know like "pre-teen?" Being in oh...6th grade and buying your first bra or realizing that maybe boys don't have cooties? I think I've hit "pre-adult" -- still not quite ready to acknowledge full on adulthood, but have a peaking curiosity.
3. My friends here are amazing... for example this morning, I pretty much woke Seth up to and he was willing to drive me to drop off my keys and bring me back to campus, and Gretchen instantly making a Starbucks run (and including a cookie) when my car stopped running. I am surrounded by really great people and they will honestly be my lifelong friends.
4. School is going great. I have all A's in my classes. Considering I haven't had any exams yet, I would hope to have A's, but still. The class averages aren't all A's so I can enjoy my moment :) Plus it is giving me motivation to study for the actual exams.
5. I talked to my family, including my favorite old people -- Uncle Dan and Aunt Debbie, and Granny O. My parents and Kalli leave Thursday for Portugal and then London for a couple weeks, so I gotta get all the chat time in with them while I can! Hopefully all this car stuff will be figured out before they go!

Also... I've heard 2 really great sermons and had 3 really amazing times of worship... Friday night at Sabbath, Sunday morning at Oikos and tonight at the Inn. God is good. I need to remember that.

update

so I managed to make it through last week... thanks to many supportive hugs, phone calls, texts etc. so thanks for extending your thoughts and prayers. It was hard not being at home, but I guess its part of growing up. I'm not always going to be able to just go to the cemetery when I miss people, or drive past the crash site. but lets not go there right now. ok - deep breath!

So its only 9:15 and i feel like I have been awake for at least 3 days straight. Perhaps my Red Bull/coffee addiction is what is keeping me going? But for some reason I feel like I haven't been getting good sleep lately. Molly has mono - well its probably what she had back in February when we kept having to take her to the ER but her test came back positive today. Nicole and I spent the entire afternoon at the health center waiting to have blood drawn. One of the nurses said it was like the ER in there today with lots of crazy and random injuries showing up. The nurse who actually drew my blood was a peach. She tried to recruit me to be a nurse since I wasn't queezy about having blood drawn, and since the average age of the working nurse is 50. She told me this was her 40th year being a nurse. My first thought was "gosh I hope I find a career that I am comfortable enough with to stick around for 40 years" then my mind switched and I thought "geesh... 40 years!? That is almost twice as long as I have lived right now... can I really see myself doing the same thing for that long without ever changing my mind? Won't I want to retire by then?" Nurses are special people... it takes a certain heart to make a great nurse. Anways, I'm getting really excited because Ann comes in one week! I can't wait to have her here. But I have a physics quiz tomorrow and have a little bit of reading and a few problems to look over before then so I better get cracking instead of wasting more time! Goodnight!

April is rough...

Every year this week in April is particularly difficult and I'm reminded that yet another year has passed since I lost Erin. I still remember that Wednesday afternoon like it just happened 5 minutes ago and my throat gets tight every single time I think about it... getting into her car and then having to turn around and get my own car after my mom called to insist I pick up my little sister from piano lessons.

I miss eating jelly bellys with Erin, and getting onion petals from Arbys, and driving over to the Shaffers doing my makeup in the passenger seat of her little brown Honda. I miss her laugh and her smile. I miss being able to call her in the middle of the night. I miss Java Junkie mexican hot chocolates. I miss wearing flip flops on Chapel days just to see if the teachers would give us detention. I miss eating Torengos chips with salsa, and her mom's microwave brownies. I miss having to clean the bathroom at either her house or mine before we could go anywhere. I miss singing at the top of our lungs to whatever song we were currently obsessed with (particularly the country ones). I miss sitting in the corner of the gym eating Hunans watching Danny and John play basketball.

I remember getting phone call after phone call that entire evening. I remember when it hit me, i walked outside of the Patient Appointment Center and collapsed feeling completely emotionless and screaming out to God demanding an explanation but knowing there was none. Then there came the downpour of rain. And I sat in the rain and cried. I poured out as many tears as I was capable of producing that afternoon, and the next couple of days were the same story - constant kleenex, red puffy eyes, lots of hugs, and being surrounded by the constant prayers of friends and family. I don't know how I have made it 6 years now without this amazing friend...I can't even begin to imagine how her parents feel. I'm not sure why God puts such amazing people into our lives only to take them away from us when it seems like we need them the most.

We also lost another classmate Megan in a car accident last year during this awful week in April. My heart aches for her best friends who can relate to how I'm feeling... this emptiness and incompleteness - like you just aren't the same person. Its not anything somebody can "fix" and I get so irritated when people try. My heart is missing a piece, not needed to be mended back together. I don't think anyone understands the feeling until they lose a friend themselves, which is an awful thing to wish on someone... I guess for now I can hold on to the memories that I do have and push through it knowing that for some reason God has different plans for me and just trust that I'm doing the right thing.

Its going to be hard to not be at the cemetery on Thursday, no flowers, no hugs from Todd, Jodi and Josey, no seeing Grandma Lila and Grandpa Sonny...no Danny Utter, John Kaiser and Jerry Shaffer to wipe my tears and share memories with me. Erin Marie Sorenson, know that you will never be forgotten... you truly changed my life and not a day goes by where I am not reminded of you in some way.

back to school

While most of my friends (at home that is) are counting down the 4-5 weeks remaining until summer begins for them, I'm about to start yet another chaotic quarter of school. I'm actually looking forward to feeling busy again. Give me about 2 weeks and I'll feel completely overwhelmed and buried in to-do lists and I'll wish I was back at this place of contentment yet craving something new.

Break was restful. It was amazing seeing my family and friends back home, and I'm extremely jealous that you all will be done with school and enjoying hot sunny days at the lake and cool summer nights in the park while I'm studying for my horrendous schedule of classes. It will be worth it. Thats all I know, somehow, someday, I'll be so thankful for the fact that I pushed myself and got things done.

I absolutely adore my roommates. I was greeted with smiling faces and giant long awaited hugs from so many amazing people... that is what makes me just love Bellingham. So thankful for the friendships that have blossomed here! Anyways, tomorrow is the big first day... I only have labs on Tuesdays, and they don't meet the first week so I have the privilege of sleeping in one more day before having 8AM class M-F. Goodnight!

Life lately...!

I am loving every single thing about being at home right now. Not only did I go mullet hunting at Wal Mart with my little sister and her friend, but today all four of us piled into the truck (which has a back seat, but really shouldn't its pretty small) and went antique shopping. We went to (literally) every antique store within 20 miles of our house and finally my mom found the desk she wanted which is actually a "Librarian's Table" and was (of course) at the first antique store we went to. After loading the table, covering it with blankets/towels and strapping it down in the bed of the truck, we went to Sam's Club (think Costco). Most of you know, I love shopping... even if its only groceries. But now that we had this new computer desk, my stepdad spent a good hour looking at computers before deciding which one he wanted. Kalli and I ate hot dogs that were 87 cents and gulped iced tea since she gave up pop for lent.
After tasting a scrumptous sample at the end of every aisle, we found my parents again. Each of them pushing a cart, my stepdad's with a computer and printer and ink and other electronic stuff and my mom's with groceries -- fresh strawberries, salmon for dinner, milk, and frozen chicken... we paid and piled back into the truck and my parents gave each other a kiss. Kalli and I immediately voiced our disgust, "Ewwww!" she said, "Get a room!" was my response. But in reality, I'm thankful to have them as a demonstration of a loving marriage. They told Kalli and I tonight about their engagement, which took place about 10 feet from where I'm sitting right now 18 years ago on the first day of spring. I just loved watching them walk around downtown between antique stores today holding hands, and I love hearing the entry way door slide open and my stepdad cheerfully announce, "Honey, I'm home" upon entering the house after work.
Anyways, we're leaving the house in less than 5 hours to go to the sunrise service at Mt. Rushmore, our Easter tradition. The Spurs play tomorrow afternoon, so I'm sure we'll all sit around the fireplace and watch the game, just like we watched the Celtics the other night. Then I'm going over to my grandma O's house to learn how to make her dumplings (well try to learn... German food is difficult, and my grandma never measures ANYTHING). Should be a great Easter, I hope all of you are having restful breaks!

how i get through

3 of my most valued possessions are purple scrap paper notes that my mom wrote Bible verses and prayers on and hid in my car, Bible, and random other places before my trip, a letter from my stepdad that he wrote I think when I left for college and my copy of my best friend Erin's testimony. Without these three things, and the three people who wrote them to me, there is no way I would be determined enough to continue through hard situations. I don't think they will ever know how much I appreciate them.

First, a scrap of paper that my mom wrote "God is sending His angels to protect you until we see you again. Love you! Mom, Kerry & Kalli" on one side, the other side has bright red lipstick lips with Hebrews 13:5 written on it. Or the half heart smeared with the same red lipstick kiss that says, "May you be blessed in your work and play today. I love you Kimmee!" on one side and Colossians 1:3 on the other. My mom is truly the most amazing woman alive. If you can't tell by how often I talk about her, I think she is pretty great. When I worked at the hospital over the summer one of the nicest things someone could say to me was "You remind me of your mother."

Now, a couple lines from the note my stepdad wrote me: "...I just want you to know of the joy & pride that I share because of the special person that you have become. You remind me so much of your mother - and coming from me you should know that there is not a higher compliment I could give someone." and also, probably my favorite line of the letter "Don't marry a jerk...I assume that you will always remember the other advice that I have already given you - like don't eat yellow snow." My stepdad is probably the smartest person I have ever met. He can fix just about anything, he is calm under whatever stressful situation I throw at him (speeding tickets, driving my car off a cliff, the house getting TP'd, broken things on my car, needing money, helping me with calculus problems, I could go on) and I know that I am always just a phone call away from his comfort whenever life throws me a curveball.

Erin's testimony is something that we had to do as an assignment for Bible class freshman year, and who would have thought that it would become one of my most valued possessions. Whenever I miss her I am comforted by knowing that she is in heaven waiting for me. Her testimony is ready for me to read, whenever I need that affirmation that I will see her again. My favorite part is how at age 16 she was able to say "Having God in my life is something I never want to lose...Yeah He has given me a run for his money, and he has put me down some hard paths, but...He was always there when the big stuff happened and I felt like I had no one to turn to." This is such a somber reminder that every single time I am faced with a difficult situation and try to prove that God is failing me, his faithfulness is simply revealed to me in a new way.

This quarter has been tough. I am worn out. My body is aching for relaxation but even laying down doesn't relieve the tenseness of my muscles. I am sick of working on group projects and papers and presentations and studying for tests, but I know that someday I will miss the nights I have spent in the library until the turn the lights out in 5W and the giggles I get from sleep deprivation during Dr. Knutzen's biomechanics lectures. Relief is on the way. I'll be home, in the presence of my incredible family in just 16 short days... but who is counting.

friends:
i want you to know that i care, even though i don't get to see you as often as i'd like to.
that i think about you daily.
i pray for you by name.
i ask that God will reveal himself to you in a new way daily,
that your eyes will see moments that stick out as though they were created solely for your enjoyment in that very instant.
my hope is that you find affirmation, validity, strength, conviction, grace, love, comfort, and protection that is provided through faith in Christ.
i pray that you are fulfilled, renewed, guided, and confident.
i am thankful that you have been a blessing in my life,
whether you know it or not.
i am thankful for your compassion, love, laughter and perseverance
i am blessed beyond belief, because of you.

I went to Mt. Baker today and snowboarded. I forget that its nice to just do things alone sometimes... I'm really bad at being alone. Today was good though. I needed it, it was sort of a vindicating experience. Plus it was gorgeous outside and what better way to spend the day then on the mountain? I'm a little sunburned I think, which is fine with me. Anyways... this weekend has been crazy busy, as always. I got some of my research done and feel really good about it. I got a 82 on my biomechanics test that I took on Thursday so that feels AMAZING. My roommate Molly had to go to the ER on Friday, and then again yesterday. They figured out that she has tonsilitis -- eek. We were worried she had mono because that has been going around like crazy in our friend group, so its kind of a relief that its not mono but still stinks that she is miserably sick! Her mom came up and took her home for the week to recuperate. Well here are some pictures from my day... the quality isn't that great because they are just from my cell phone, but you get the idea.

its not even 9PM and I'm exhausted. I'm going to put my sweats on and crawl in bed and read. Oh college life!

study study study

we just got back from Rudy's for Amanda's birthday. There have been too many birthdays to keep track of lately...! I'm going to head up to the library (woo!) and spend at least an hour going over my biomechanics for my test tomorrow. I think I get all of the main concepts, I just have to brush up on the little zingers that I think she'll throw on there.

I can't WAIT for this quarter to be over! That means not only will I get at least 10 uninterrupted days of no studying, but I also get to see my Annie and my family and everyone back home! I have small group tomorrow night, and no plans as of right now for the weekend. I'm sure that will change soon enough though... seems like I've managed to jam pack everything else this quarter so I'd assume I'll come up with something. Well goodnight for now!

Phew!

Life has been so busy! I can't stress that enough. Seriously, I feel like once I create time to do something besides school, I don't have enough energy to do anything except go to sleep! Things are going well though, I'm getting good grades (so far) so my hard work is paying off! I'm glad I have things to look forward to. I'm not so sure about going to Sun Valley now, it seems like everyone else can miss school on Tuesday and I can't, plus if I don't go they can just take one car. Maybe I'll go down to Seattle and hang out with Schooley and K-Ho or my old floormates or something instead. I feel like I've prepared myself and kept on top of my assignments that I should do something fun besides hang out in the lab or library all weekend!

Tomorrow is Kyle's birthday and Markus is coming up to go out to dinner. (Ali was supposed to be coming along, but now she has too much homework... plus we'll just be going down to Seattle on Friday anyways so I'll get to see her then) I'm pretty excited to have a night of minimal studying, but I do have a test on Friday so I can't not study at all. I feel pretty much prepared for the test already though, I've read the chapters and gone over the notes and study guide so I just need to keep it fresh in my mind I suppose.

My compartment syndrome research is proving to be quite a challenge... I have lots of sources, but I'm not sure if they are good sources or not and I'm not quite sure how I'm going to put them into a paper just yet. Good news is I still have like 4 weeks to get it all together. Considering most of the people I know in the class are just not settling in on a topic, I'd say I have a pretty good start. Hmmm... not too much else is new around here! Its dark and dreary lately, rainy and windy. But I am going to shower and start reading some of the articles I've accumulated.

Oh and mom, I think I've been patient for long enough now... what do ya say? :)

studying

my brain is full of statistics and biomechanics.
hopefully i can remember all of the contents on my exams tomorrow!

Its been a long week... I'm thankful for the moments I get to spend with my friends laughing. I have a few more weeks until Tori comes and I'm really looking forward to that. And even less time until Sun Valley if everything works out. Only 6 more weeks of this quarter! (but who is counting...) Still so much to do. I have yet to come up with a biomechanics project topic and find a group of people to work with, and still have TONS of research for my paper for 301 and our debate in there not to mention research for my measurement and eval. project and conducting the actual study. Throw in a few statistics assignments, tests every other week, fitness testing and trying to find time to take care of my friends (and myself, eventually) and that pretty much sums up my life lately. woo! Its not even 10 and I'm going to read and go to sleep. Can't wait to Kyle's birthday next week and Ali and Markus coming to visit! I get a few pleasant interruptions from my busy life, and boy are they amazing! Life is happening so fast...!

photo survey

What do you want to be when you grow up?





What do you like to do in your free time?






Favorite author(s):




Movie you'd like to watch over and over again:



Band you'd like to see:


If I had some more money I would buy:




How the opposite sex catches my eye:




I'm back from an amazing weekend in Seattle and about to bring enchiladas down to Oikos for the big fiesta :) Lots of homework to do tonight so I'll be busy for a while. ..

hello again

sorry for the lack of updates... I'm beginning to notice that I took my free time for granted last quarter! This quarter is much busier. But I think thats OK. For now anyways. I guess. I mean I can't do anything to change it so I should just embrace it and accept it and deal with it. There is a lot on my heart lately, and I'm not sure what God is doing but I'm doing my best to listen. I haven't been reading every day, and thats making me real cranky.

hmm... so whats new... well... I'm learning how to study. I guess I never really had to do that. Ever. I mean I would pay attention in class and do just fine. The classes that I have studied for in college have always kicked my butt and its my goal to change that this quarter. Statistics is hard, for sure. I'm staying way ahead on the assignments though, which is a good thing. Biomechanics is going to be my hardest class I think. I don't really know anyone else in that class and a lot of it seems to be based on group work so thats frustrating. My measurement and eval class shouldn't be too bad, I'm staying ahead on the work in there as well. Lets see, that leaves survey of health and PE and that is a TON of work. Not things that aren't do-able, just lots of time consuming research and hours spent in the library reading medical articles that I don't really understand all the time. And volleyball, well... its pretty easy. So that's my classes, I plan on finishing homework over the weekend (woo!) and catching up on some of the reading for biomechanics and looking at the lab that we'll be doing on Tuesday.

I miss home real bad tonight... not sure why... mostly I think because I want to go to Erin's wall and talk about all the stuff thats going on in my head/heart and I can't. I want to sit on top of it, add new flowers or flip flops. Plus we decorated our friend Mike's Jeep tonight with streamers and it just reminds me of all the adventures we had freshman year. Especially the night the boys got the cops called on them and Erin and I had to clean the truck and my house off the next day.

Well I'm clean right now :) I smell divine and can't wait to crawl in bed and sleep.

flashback

a sight for sore eyes - and the teeny tiny leftover bit of snow

This is my "Please take me with you to Portugal" face, he wasn't quite ready for his picture to be taken, and astonished by how heavy my suitcases were.

The best compliment I've ever received is when people tell me that I remind them of my mother. She's wonderful.

QDoba! Karen is sad I'm leaving her.

Me and my mom HAD to have one last Starbucks run.

I had every intention of taking pictures of my own personal airport car service Kramer and Markus, but couldn't find my camera... Oh home sweet home! I'm off to prepare for research for Biomechanics on Saturday, woohoo!

welcome back

Its nice to be back in Bellingham.
I'm so thankful for my stepdad. Seriously, wow. What an amazing guy to put up with my annoying phone call questions all day! I got a LOT done today. It feels really good to have those days where you just accomplish things and today was one of those. I'm totally a person who makes a list and finds an odd pleasure in crossing things off when I'm finished. I rearranged my room, too and it feels nice to have a different set up in here. Its really messy still, I'm finding a home for all my random things again and getting everything organized and unpacked still. Tomorrow I start classes... CRAZY! I'm ready to have a schedule again though, just wish it was a schedule of fun things instead of classes. Things at the Turtle are busy as always, its weird to have Paige gone, but I kind of feel like Ellie has always been here, she's great. We were all at home tonight so it was nice to all sit together and just hang out in the same room. Its going to be a great quarter :)

bittersweet

I'm wrapping up my time in the lovely state of South Dakota. It seems crazy that my break is almost over already. Leaving is going to be one of the most bittersweet things ever. I'm so excited to get back to Bellingham, but I have definitely loved being home. I will miss playing Apples to Apples at our kitchen table with my family plus whoever stops by. I will miss driving to my Grandma B's house to make the most amazing fudge ever and play dominoes, Bananagrams (a scrabble-like word game), and the Farming Game. Did I mention that my Gramma B is probably the most amazing game player ever? She always whomps on us, but it adds to the fun. I will miss riding in the car and letting Kalli drive (gasp!) to Granny O's house and help her make dinner or go wash her car or get her groceries. I will miss waking up to my mom's footsteps upstairs making coffee. I will miss my breakfast dates at the Millstone. I will miss driving around in every other car but mine and getting upset when I see someone I know and they don't wave back and then remembering that I'm not in my own car. I will miss my little sister... pretty much everything about her, but especially falling asleep in the living room watching America's Next Top Model in the middle of the night. I'm going to miss being less than a minute away from my best friend in the world. But enough about the bitter... lets get to the sweet...

I can't wait to get back to Bellingham because I miss being surrounded by my amazing friends. I want to cook once a week again and go to Oikos. I can't wait to see the guys in Seattle, the ones that I owe so much for being my own personal airport car service not to mention letting me stay there and keep my car and I could go on and on about the things that they do. I can't wait to see Kyle and Seth and Joel. Mostly I can't wait to feed them. I can't wait to collapse on Molly and Nicole's floor and hear all about their breaks and get updated. I can't wait to see Amanda dancing around our house as always. I can't wait to meet Ellie! I am very excited for winter star gazing, more snowboarding, and the INN. I am ready to start taking classes that will hopefully help me decide if I really want to go to PT school. I'm ready to listen for what God has next, and continue to show my friends that I love them and they are amazing.

so. Bittersweet. ya.