so lately... lets see. I've been walking a lot. I still don't have a car. I'm getting used to it taking at least 10 minutes to get places instead of being able to pretty much leave at the time I'm supposed to be somewhere and show up like 2-3 minutes late. I guess I'll just be ridiculously early once I get my car back?

This weekend was good. I want to have a video-chat session with my family but Kalli is sick and my mom was making everyone do yard work on Mother's Day so it didn't work out. I've had some great talks this week. I feel so much better when I'm able to talk things out with people and can sort of recap whats been going on. Friends are good things to keep around, fundamental for sure. Big week again school-wise, Kines Lab Exam on Thursday and another physics quiz on Thursday as well. Its past my bedtime so this is a quick one!

PS - Mom: Colette cut like 12 inches off of her hair (its like between chin and shoulder length now) and donated it to Locks of Love :) You'll have to keep your eyes peeled for her at the hospital!

praying and a new 1st place

One of my best friends since I can remember is Megan Jangula. I remember begging my mom to let me just walk to Megan's after school so I could play in her cellar. It was a tiny room with a ceiling maybe 3 feet high? Perfect height that we could crawl around with only a flashlight. Plus her dad Yogi kept his Coke in there so that was just a bonus. Megan had toys like you wouldn't believe. I remember she had moon shoes, you know the like rubber band and plastic things you strapped on to your normal shoes? I loved it when I got to wear those. Megan's mom always got ready in the mornings in a the lazy boy recliner in their living room. Second to the cellar, my favorite thing was using Shelley's make-up and curling irons to make ourselves look oh-so-beautiful. Plus both of our mom's were nurses. I think nurses kid's just automatically are bonded because we all have this immense respect and appreciation for our mothers...Ann's mom is also a nurse...but that's a whole other blog.

Megan and I both worked at the hospital this summer -- we were... well...we were ass-wipers and bath-givers. The hospital tries to church it up by calling it a "Patient Care Technician" or a "Certified Nurses Assistant" but its not glorious work by any means. However, I tried to see it as my opportunity to make someone's day just a little brighter. I loved working on 8th floor with Megan because it meant I knew I would have someone who could help me boost someone up in bed (which is a daunting task to attempt by yourself) or help me make a bed or give a difficult bath. Megan has the gift of caring for people - she definitely got that from her mom. We both had our share of hard days, watching someone take their last breath, but also had lights throughout a shift when sweet little old ladies would ask for your name so they could say a prayer for you. I think those moments made up for all of the horrific things we had to see and go through, and ultimately we're better for going through what we had to. Both of us now have a better understanding for what our moms have seen for the last 25+ years as nurses.

I got a phone call from Megan on Friday. She started to cry and so did I. Her mom was diagnosed with Mutliple Myeloma a few months ago and Megan tried to remain calm and say what was going on. She just needed somebody to talk to, because her mom was no longer able to respond to anyone. She wasn't dead yet, but the time was quickly approaching. We cried and dealt with the hard stuff. Megan seemed like she was coping as well as anyone could considering what was happening, and like I said, we both experienced through our patients this summer how to handle death from a "professional" standpoint (even though I cried when a patient died...every time...I'm sure Megan did too) I wanted desperately to get in a car, or on a bus or train or plane or something... just to get home to comfort her. The cost would seem like nothing once I got that long-awaited and much needed hug. I could hear her pain through the phone and instantly just started praying.

Shelley passed away on Saturday night at the Hospice House. I can't imagine feeling such an immense loss as what Megan is feeling right now. My mom is my go-to person. Whenever ANYTHING happens she's the first person I call. I can't imagine life without my Mom.. and I don't think its fair for Megan to have to live the rest of hers without Shelley. So I've always said that the pain of losing a child must be the worst, but I'm going to go ahead and bump this one up there -- tied for 1st place: losing your mother. If you think of it, pray for Megan. Pray that she'd begin to feel comfort and love from those around her. My heart is broken for you Meg, know that I love you and I will always be here for you.

whew. an epiphany.

The weeks of Spring Quarter are FLYING by! I'm not complaining, the sooner I'm done with these classes the better. I have so much to look forward to this summer that I can't help but think about my next season of life. I've been reminded of how much I'm complaining about things here when in reality life has never been better for me! (minus the car thing, I guess)

I have great friends, amazing roommates, I live in a beautiful place, I'm getting an education, I have the most supportive and encouraging family anyone could ask for, and I have endless opportunity. I'm growing, regardless of if I acknowledge it or not, and I can either accept that life is happening and jump on for the ride or continue to complain and whine about stupid little things that really serve no purpose other than to distract me from how amazing my life really is!

I chose jump on! Ok. I'm going to step off the soap box now and get back to studying.